The Me First! Blog

You are unloading the dishwasher and you are furious about it.

Not mildly irritated. Properly furious, out of proportion to a dishwasher, and underneath the fury is a running commentary you would b...

Read these and count how many are yours.

"Sorry to bother you." "Just checking in." "No rush at all." "This might be a silly question." "I know you are really busy." "Would it be at all possible, m...

It is 3:07am. Your eyes open. Your heart is going faster than it should be for someone lying perfectly still in a dark room.

And within about eight seconds, your mind has selected a topic. Usually ...

There is a specific kind of successful woman I meet over and over, and she always says a version of the same sentence.

"On paper, my life is perfect. So what is wrong with me?"

Nothing is wrong ...

Every pattern you cannot break is sitting on top of a sentence.

Not a feeling. Not a wound. A sentence, usually short, usually absolute, and almost always one you never consciously agreed to. Somet...

"Regulated" has become one of those words that gets used constantly and defined almost never.

People hear it and picture a serene woman on a cushion, breathing slowly, unbothered by anything. Which...

Every time a woman tells me she is burnt out, someone in her life has recently suggested a planner.

Or a new app. Or time blocking. Or getting up an hour earlier, which is the advice equivalent of ...

Let me describe a moment you know intimately.

Someone asks you for something. And before any part of you has weighed it, before you have checked your calendar or your energy or your actual opinion,...

You finally said no.

You got the sentence out, it was clear, it was even kind. And then you got in your car and felt so wretched that within nine minutes you were drafting a message that started "s...

Two tiny words are quietly running your life.

If. And when.

"I would travel more IF the children were older." "I will start WHEN work calms down." "I would leave IF I had the money." "I will res...

We talk about people-pleasing as if it is a soft problem. A bit of an emotional inconvenience. Something to work on eventually, after the more pressing items.

So let us do something less comfortabl...

You are getting everything done.

The work goes out. The children are fed. The messages get answered, eventually. From the outside, and even from most of the inside, you are functioning.

And you ...