The Me First! Blog

Most advice about saying no is useless because it stops at "just say no."

Thank you. Very helpful. The problem was never the concept. The problem is that at 4pm on a Thursday, when your colleague i...

There is a tool so simple that people refuse to believe it works, which is a shame, because it is one of the best studied emotional regulation techniques in neuroscience.

You put a word on the feel...

If I could hand you exactly one tool and take everything else away, it would be this one.

It works in about twenty seconds. It works in a meeting, in a car, in a bathroom stall at your in-laws' hou...

You have heard of fight, flight and freeze. Almost nobody teaches the fourth one, and the fourth one is the reason you are the way you are.

Fawn.

When your system decides that fighting will get ...

"I am just a people pleaser" is one of those sentences that sounds like self-awareness and functions like a shrug.

It is too vague to act on. It is like saying "I am just bad with money." Bad how? ...

Here is a sentence that took me thirty-nine years and one full collapse to be able to say out loud.

Putting yourself first is not the opposite of love. It is the precondition for it.

I know what...